Is my kid ready for a phone?

Free · about four minutes

Is your kid ready for a phone?

Fifteen questions that can help you decide.

Most families decide this by age, and age turns out to be very little help. Two eleven year olds can be nowhere near each other on how they would handle a phone. So none of these questions ask how old your kid is.

Stopping on their own

Of everything here, this one matters most. A phone needs putting down dozens of times a day, usually when you are not in the room to say so.

When screen time ends, they stop without an argument.

They can put a device down in the middle of something when it is time to.

They sometimes stop on their own, before anyone says anything.

Telling you hard things

At some point something will go wrong. A message, a video, a group chat that turns. Kids who tell a parent early get help early.

When something goes wrong, they tell you rather than hide it.

They come to you about things that embarrass them.

If they broke a rule, you would hear it from them first.

Sleep and routine

Sleep is usually the first thing a phone costs a family. If evenings are already hard work, a phone makes them harder.

They get to bed near the right time without a nightly fight.

Mornings run without screens being the problem.

Homework gets done before entertainment, without being supervised.

Handling friendship trouble

Group chats move fast and have no pause button. How your kid handles being left out or argued with in person is a fair guide to how they will handle it on a phone.

When they are left out or teased, it does not derail the whole day.

They talk to you about friendship problems.

They can let a disagreement go without needing the last word.

Looking after things

A phone costs a lot and comes with rules attached. This is the easiest area to answer honestly, because you have already watched them do it with other things.

They keep track of their own belongings.

They keep small promises without reminders.

They follow a rule when you are not there to enforce it.

Answer all fifteen to get a result.

Scoring it by hand

Rarely 0, Sometimes 1, Usually 2, Almost always 3. Each area scores out of 9, for 45 in total. Thirty-six or more with nothing under 5 is ready. Under 24 is not yet. In between is nearly, and the lowest area is the one to work on first.